He currently is 10th in the NCAA in avg. yards per game at 115 (has four less yards total than Ben Tate who currently sits atop the SEC), and the way the Vols offense is operating that doesn’t look to slow down. And frankly, The Vols’ season rests squarely on his broad, well-defined shoulders (strong homo). Now that he’s finally healthy, he’s got scouts around the country getting all hot and bothered. Watching him punish defenders is akin to seeing an M1A1 Abrams tank run roughshod through a hapless cell of Iraqi insurgents. Jusk ask Joe Haden.

Let’s take a look at the remaining games on the schedule and estimate how Hardesty finishes up.

Ohio –Cal Poly ran for almost 240 yards against this porous Ohio front seven. CAL FUCKING POLY. Pending Hardesty’s shoulder health, I see at least 150 yards out of this game…in the first half.

Auburn – This will be another game where Kiff calls a ball control game. Hardesty will get a brusing 24 touches and put up 120 yards. Eddie George masturbates to his awesomeness post-game.

Georgia – Willie Martinez vs. Montario Hardesty. Joe Cox’cox will be smashed in and Hardesty will finally make Mark Richt make a change to his staff. Well, who are we kidding, this is Fulmer2.0 we’re talking about. With all the athletes on Georgia’s defense, you wouldn’t expect Hardesty to have a big game. No chance with Martinez scheming it up. Hardesty goes for 110, Brown goes for 74.

Alabama – The only poor performance in Hardesty’s season. Mount Fat Piece of Shit will clog the middle, and Hardesty goes for 62 yards.

South Carolina – Their defense looks quality. This will be a bruising game for Horse Cock. I suspect a 30 carry 94 yard day for Hardesty.

Mempiss – Hardesty gets back on track with 140 yards.

Ole Miss – Ole Miss is so overrated, and Hardesty gets 13 girls pregnant after a 100 yard day against a quality defensive front (Thanks to Coach O).

Vandy – 117 yards.

Kentucky – The Vols will have to put up a lot of points to continue the streak. Hardesty will catch the ball a lot as well, and have 122 yards rushing.

If he performs as above mentioned he will secure First Team status, and more importantly, a first day draft choice. Its very attainable the way Kiffin will be calling games, because we all know Crompton will not improve. 8 wins? All aboard Mr. Beast.

Anyway, taking what we’ve seen in the first couple games, lets apply that to the rest of the schedule:

Ohio 9/26 – Obvious cakewalk, we’ll continue to iron out what little bit of the offense we’ll be able to use the rest of the year.  LOOK OFF YOUR RECEIVERS FOR FUCK’S SAKE!  W

Auburn 10/3 – Rematch of one of the ugliest football games I’ve ever watched.  Monte showed us last weekend he can scheme against any offense.  Malzahn and co. don’t have near the horses that Florida did, and we get them in Neyland.  If Jarrett Brown doesn’t have 14 turnovers on Saturday Auburn isn’t undefeated right now.  Close W

UGA 10/10 – How bad is this defense?  Willie Martinez is Richt’s Randy Sanders.  That D might even make Crompton look like a run of the mill Big Sky quarterback.  W

@Bama 10/24 – Bama is the team that we want to be.  Power run game, ball control offense, stingy defense.  We have two of those things.  We’ll get there, not this year.  L

USCjr 10/31 – Halloween Night Game, its gonna be nasty for the Cocks.  W

Memphis 11/7 – W

@Ole Miss 11/14 – This one is interesting.  Still don’t know what to think.  Nasty D-line, they do have Jevan Snead.  They haven’t been tested yet so it’s hard to gauge what this team really is.  That, plus Jonathan Crompton plays QB for the Vols.  L, for now

Vanderbilt 11/21 – W

@Kentucky 11/28 – W

8-4 would be a great finish to the season.  In reality, we could lose to either Auburn, Georgia, or both.  7-5 is probably the more realistic expectation, but I have faith that the staff will continue to coach up the players, and in spite of the succubus we have under center we’ll be able to take care of business at home.

gainesville crew snapped this gem during the tailgate, well done boys.  you know this beastud was licking his lips at the thought of playing for Monte and Corch O after today.

Meyer will actually say “I must break you” to Kiffin at midfield pre-kickoff.

1st quarter will be all hate from BHG Stadium from all sides as the Vols get pummeled early.

Vols will keep hanging around though and by halftime the Drago/Gators will have a cut under their eye. Spikes comments that Hardesty is not a man, he is a piece of iron.

3rd quarter will be a brawl and the crowd will become enamored with the marginally talented Greasy Italian Tank that is UT Football. Pauley aka David Reaves aka the useless brother-in-law will tell Crompton to aim for the WR in the middle.

4th quarter will find unparalleled doubt on the Gator sidelines as Meyer’s ueber bitch of a wife looks on with desperation. The crowd slowly begins to cheer for UT. Vols pull off the impossible victory.

A bloodied Kiffin makes a speech at midfield draped in an American flag blabbering about change and inadvertently committing 12 secondary violations.

CBS fades out with John Cafferty singing in the background.

props to invisblekid

Fisted.

In the ass.

Other than the obvious influence of his father, legendary NFL coach Monte Kiffin, Lane Kiffin’s primary mentor has been USC Head Coach, Pete Carroll. From what Tennessee fans have witnessed since his hiring, it appears that Kiffin has learned the lessons well.

As happens in the real world, when Kiffin landed the job as an offensive assistant at USC he was undoubtedly assisted by Monte Kiffin’s connection to Pete Carroll. While it may have helped to get his foot in the door at USC, no promises of future success were made. It was either sink or swim in the ocean that is USC football. Detractors of Lane Kiffin point to him as having little substance other than being Monte’s son. In rebuttal, I ask how can a young coach proceed from an assistant coach to co-offensive coordinator on a national championship team, to the youngest head coach in the modern era of the NFL (albeit for the wackiest franchise), to a D1 head coach by the age of 33 unless he has something special.

Many in the media place asterisks next to nearly every achievement in Lane Kiffin’s coaching career: success at USC, credit Pete Carroll’s ’system’ and/or Norm Chow’s so-called brilliance; on becoming the youngest head coach in the NFL, credit Monte Kiffin for pulling some strings or Al Davis’ deteriorating mental capabilities; on becoming the youngest head coach in D1 college football at the University of Tennessee, credit Mike Hamilton’s desperation; and, so on. Very few in the college football world outside of Tennessee have given Kiffin the slightest credit for his meteoric rise.

There’s a simple truth relevant to this situation: it is an advantage to both Lane Kiffin and the Vols to be underestimated.

The college football savants snicker about Lane Kiffin’s off-season ‘antics.’ Fans (and a few players) of other college teams have called him names ranging from ‘bozo’ to ‘f’n stupid’ to ‘Lame Kitten.’ Some Tennessee fans/alums loyal to the previous coaching staff spend their days and nights roaming restlessly through Tennessee football message boards spewing their negative agenda with the circular logic that ‘their’ coach will return from exile one day to re-assume his rightful place upon his throne at the helm of Tennessee football. What does this matter to Lane Kiffin? Absolutely nothing.

What does matter to Lane Kiffin? Since we are unable to get inside his head, we have to go with what we have seen since he was hired. He has had a plan and implemented his plan to near perfection. Hire the best possible coaching/recruiting staff; go after and pull off one of the best recruiting classes in recent Tennessee football history (as much as is possible to determine at this point); make the Tennessee football program one of the most visible during an off-season following a losing season; and, most importantly, making the Tennessee football players, inherited and new, compete for every opportunity for playing time on Saturdays.

Lane Kiffin has taken the equivalent of multiple public floggings, yet he has borne them with quiet indifference. What has mattered to him is that the members of his football team understand without any doubt that he is fair. No favorites and honesty. He told his players that those who proved themselves would play on Saturdays, regardless of prep star status or how much previous experience a player has.

Kiffin and the rest of the Vols coaching staff have labored over every possible detail in preparing the team for this season. From assigning PowerPoint presentations of plays as homework to following the exact schedule for scrimmages that will be used on game day to practicing the Vol Walk as part of game preparations. During his first press conference as Tennessee’s new head coach, Kiffin told the world that no one would outwork him and the staff that he would assemble. From the viewpoint of those of us who follow the Vols closely, it’s hard to argue that he hasn’t done so.

With a professional approach to college football, Lane Kiffin and the rest of the Tennessee coaching staff have earned the respect of the Vols football team (and intrigue from blue-chip recruits everywhere). At this point, that’s all that matters.